Saturday, December 3, 2011

here in this moment

*Photo credit:
This blog is one of the loveliest I have ever seen or read, and it reminds me of what I am about to share with you.

As December rounded the corner this week I found myself rushing around from one thing to the next, feeling burdened with the impending Christmas concert and the added stress it created. My mind was filled with to-do lists and when I wasn't thinking about what to do, my mind wandered and often went blank. As my journal-writings became more bare and my quiet times rushed-through, I felt that something was wrong. A feeling that didn't sit right unsettled me.

I was getting ready for bed one night and it hit me like I ran into a brick wall. I was losing my focus. Three weeks until Christmas break and B's arrival--so little time left from the months spent in anticipation--so little time that I knew would soon pass with the whirlwind of preparations to be made. But what had slipped away from me was that this little time was still time to be had. Time is still time, and I cannot let it get away from me. "You're only ever going to get your first Christmas concert once," I told myself. "Might as well enjoy every minute of it."

So once more I settled into the joy of being--the joy being here in this country, alive in this moment, in the midst of  these people. I thought about my students and how little time I have with them. How I need to stop seeing them as "projects" or something to check off the list but to see them as real people, and to show them that I care. I have to--I can't not do that.

So...time? Bring it on. I am prepared to try to make every minute count.

I am alive in this moment
In this moment I am found
I am alive in this moment
In this moment I belong
Alive in This Moment||Starfield

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